Back Home Again in Indiana

Ah, to be back home!

Although I firmly believe I could travel for the rest of my days and be perfectly happy, there’s just something sweet about sitting in your own home, on your own couch, listening to the familiar creaks of the floorboards upstairs, hearing the neighbor’s schnauzer bark his head off, and smelling that scent of clean laundry that always floats about.

I don’t know. Guess I’m a wee bit sentimental.

Anyhow, I felt a little something in my heart to write a few words. Because for me, Indiana is not the only home. I have many homes, in fact. Probably more than I could count – some physical building homes, some “people” homes, some emotional homes, and some merely imagination homes.

This week, I got to go back to a few of those, and it was equal parts super sweet and super hard.

Because the thing about having multiple homes is this: you can’t be everywhere at once. And while you’re gone from one place, it carries on without you. Maybe it’ll feel the void of your presence, but still it will proceed like a steady stream.

And when you return, nothing is quite the same. Sure, it can be just as wonderful as ever, but there will always be that bittersweet knowledge that it’s not what it was – and it never will be.

I don’t mean that just as a downer – because I don’t feel that it is. In many ways it’s a gift. It’s a reminder that you can change – because you have- that second chances and new beginnings aren’t just fairytales.

That life – as it is – won’t always be in the momentary season.

And that, my friend, is hope – plain and simple.

I don’t know about you, but there are not words enough to express how happy I am that I am not the same person – in the same place – that I always was. That’s a pretty sweet thing about the way God made us humans – we can change.

Yes, of course, holes will always remain in the parts of our lives that used to be occupied by people or things that no longer are. Yes, we cry ourselves to sleep sometimes when we arrive at or leave one of our homes. And, yes, we – every once in a while – wish we could go back to a simpler time.

Yet in all of those uncomfortable circumstances, it just makes me realize how truly blessed I’ve been in my nineteen years to have so many homes worth missing so very much, and how much God has held me through every “goodbye.”

I’m sad – so sad. But also, so at peace.

What a wonderful world.

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